I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
