We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
