So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
