she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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