It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone signed my nipple.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize