what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
