the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
