just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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