The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
