found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My dick has a subreddit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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