If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
