Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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