His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
