My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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