I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
