I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize