I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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