What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Randomize
