I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
