Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
