the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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