Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
