Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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