at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
