Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When are your genitals available?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
