I want to stick my p in your. b.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
