Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just google imaged poop.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
