The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
