Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize