and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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