I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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