I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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