im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize