I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
