there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
