Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
