I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
