shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i out mim tonsoeep
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize