party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
