I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Randomize
