so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
