At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
