Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
