my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize