My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
