As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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