Don't make out with my wife yet
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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