I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
