I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
