I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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