i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just want to make out with him forever
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
