Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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