1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
