Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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