I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Holy sore nipples Batman
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
